It’s Your Responsibility

Starting at age 9, I  was consistently advised by medical professionals to “quit now before you lose the ability to run”, “there are no solutions to your condition”, and my favorite, “give up”. My dream was to follow in my brother’s footsteps and play the game I love for a career. Yet the pattern of taking time off, going to physical therapy, getting re-diagnosed with some new condition, and then repeatedly hearing their quitter’s advice was overwhelming. Although it sounds depressing for a child to hear professionals advising one to quit her favorite sport, it was a blessing for me; I learned a life lesson at a young age: you and only you are responsible for your healing, for your journey, for your life.

As a kid, I thought it was the doctors’ jobs to discover the root cause of my chronic knee pain and heal me. I thought it was their job to put in the work, not me. Boy, was I wrong. As I entered my freshman year of high school, I couldn’t play any sports and I’d grimace just fighting back pain to walk up three flights of stairs to get to class. It was during this year I finally realized it was no one’s responsibility to help me, but my own. So I took my experience and recent research to create a recovery program, where I strictly followed the Paleo diet and completed PT exercise for 90 minutes every day. In addition to my recovery program, I followed a program my brother created to rebuild my mental strength, fitness, and technical skills. Together, the two programs helped me reach my goal of healing my knees and re-earning my place back on the field. I defied all doctors and healed myself, all because I took my healing into my own hands. 

Flashforward to 2018, I was hit by two cars during my sophomore year of college, and I endured a traumatic brain injury where walking once again became a challenge. I had a great medical team supporting me, yet I was frustrated with how slow my recovery was progressing and struggling to accept the fact I had to suffer because of someone else’s actions. To rebuild a fraction of the muscle I had lost, I started the habit of completing a strengthening and stretching habit right once I woke up. This took just 30 minutes of my morning, and it helped me re-build my tolerance to be able to perform sit ups without getting sick and re-build my core strength. Once I could do sit ups without getting nauseous, I wanted to rebuild my tolerance to run again without dizziness, headaches, or nausea. My goal: run 7 miles to the beach with a 20lb vest. Even though my medical team thought I was a little crazy to shoot for this before the 2nd year anniversary, they knew I was going to do it with or without their support. After getting cleared to run, I ran every day, starting with just 200 meters, building up to 7 miles, and then adding my weighted vest to my runs. By creating and committing to my own training program, I re-earned my freedom to run in just 6 weeks!

I have been blessed with a great medical team for my car accidents recovery and the incredible support of my family. Yet in both of my major recoveries, I had to take action into my own hands, create habits that would get me closer to my goal each day, and fully commit to them, even for injuries that were not my fault.

As Mark Manson says, “It is our own responsibility to figure out how to deal with the cards we are dealt”. The cards you are dealt may not always be your fault, but they will always be your responsibility. What can you do today that takes responsibility for your cards and brings you closer to your goals?